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The Dos And Don'ts Of Divorce

With more than 40% of marriages ending in divorce, you already know that the process is not an uncommon one. Still, people make mistakes every day. Divorce is hard, whether it is a surprise or you have been separated for years. Why make the process more difficult than it needs to be by making error after error? These dos and don'ts will help guide you down the right path as you struggle through the process.


  • Consider the children. This process is affecting them just as much as it does you. Don't disregard their emotions. Rather, ask them how they feel and console them during difficult times. Explaining the divorce in a straightforward way, using age-appropriate language, is incredibly helpful.

  • Take advantage of mediation when you can. Having a positive attitude and compromising is good. If you fail to collaborate, you may find yourself in court, which is often more difficult. Going to court draws out the process and may result in you losing more than you planned.

  • Take the time to shop for the lawyer you trust to best represent your cause. Lawyers are not one-size-fits-all individuals, and finding the right choice can help you relate your interests.

  • If you are struggling emotionally, don't feel embarrassed to seek out counseling. The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy also suggests therapy for children involved if they are struggling too.
  • Keep financial records for absolutely everything. Make copies if you need them, ensuring that you are financially open and honest with your lawyer.
  • Remember to update your will and other important documents that might list your ex-spouse. This includes life insurance as well.


  • Listen to everybody's advice. Every marriage is different, as is the end of every marriage. Simply because somebody else didn't have a lawyer does not mean that you should forgo a lawyer as well.

  • Rush into another big decision shortly afterward. This includes selling the family home or getting married again. Taking time to grieve and cope with the divorce is important.

  • Rely on children for emotional support. Counseling is a better solution for those times when you are experiencing that emotional pain.

  • Refuse to compromise. If you can't collaborate with your ex, you may find yourself facing off against a judge in court. As you might have guessed, this doesn't always work in anyone's favor.

  • Accept your ex's demands without speaking with your attorney. You may be treated unfairly without even knowing it.

  • Assume you will end up in court. Again, mediation is a great tool if you are willing to compromise and communicate.

No matter how you shake it, divorce is not easy. Stick to these tips and you may discover that the process is not as difficult as you think. Your lawyer may have a lot to do with making the process go smoothly, so speak to lawyers like those at Grenadier, Starace, Duffett & Keisler, PC early on in the divorce process.