Tips To Help You Focus Your Visitations On The Child
Issues surrounding child custody can get so contentious that parents forget what they were fighting about in the first place – the child. Child custody and visitation is not about upstaging your former partner, or "denying" him or her time with his or her little one.
You should be fighting to ensure that the child gets the best of both worlds here are a few tips to help you achieve child-centered visitation:
Set Up an Effective Means of Communication
Difficulties with communication usually arise after a divorce, but you need to stay in touch for the sake of your children. Make a conscious effort to separate your feelings about the divorce from your need to send and receive information concerning your child's well-being.
For example, if the child's pediatrician prescribed some medications and gave some conditions for their use, then the other parent needs to know about them. Failure to do that may worsen the child's condition, for example, if the other parent gives the child foods he or she was supposed to avoid.
You can overcome the problem by:
- Making the communication official and businesslike
- Sticking to certain topics – say school, health, travel, vacations and others that concern the child
- Agreeing on how to send information – for example, via phone calls or emails
Handle Child Support and Visitation Separately
Just like custody, child support can also elicit heated debates between divorced parents. Mixing these two contentious issues can generate more heat and derail both discussions. Therefore, it is best to separate them and handle one issue at a time.
For example, if the other parent is accusing you of being late with the payments, discuss that issue first instead of reminding him or her that he or she is always late picking up the child.
Try to Establish Similar Routines for Both Households
Having a similar routine helps not only the child but also both parents. For example, you should both specify how much television the child is allowed to watch, when to do homework, free time for playing, dinner time and such things.
This helps the child because it allows him or her to move from one house to another seamlessly. It also prevents him o her from favoring one parent over another (who may appear stricter than the other one).
As a parent, it also gives you pace of mind knowing that (while in the other household) your child will be doing exactly what you would want them to do in your house. You don't have to worry, for example, that the child will come back with his or her homework not done after spending a night in the other household. For more information, try contacting divorce attorneys for getting your divorce on track.